(One thing right at the start: With the new forum update I cant see anything I put in spoilers - so they are not working for me. As soon as WG has figured shít out, Ill start using them again. In the mean time sorry for the inconvenience and loading time).   Today we have a feature presentation, a real thriller even, it called: The Skycarcinoma and the the Pro with the brown pants.   Well before we start thing, our hero is a little camera shy, so no "naming and shaming", although I thinks its more "pointing & laughing" than everything else. So I guess I just have to make sure to blot out the names .....   _____ Well so the game begins, I am the in the T5 Skycarcinoma. I dont really want to play them, but I do want one with an working alt key for operations. As you can see I am on the right flank, our wallet warrior with the clan tag is on the opposite site of the map. (DeGrasse) 2 cruisers are immediately spotted, both would make an acceptable target. Our Kirov looks like he is more than willing to give them a straight way to my airfield and forsake his Nürnberg companion. __________ We are only  1 1/2 minute in, and a lot has happened: 1. The Kirov is indeed forsaking both the Nürnberg an me. Well its not too bad. DeGrasse is perfect target because "cruiser counter CVs", right? Also enemy fighters are coming so with no chance (without strafing) to get rid of them fast, Ill use my fighters to protect my strike. No problem in co-op as cruiser AA means nothing and I am more than likely to come out on top of that fight - esp. if I just one shot that DeGrasse. 2. Look at the other site. 2 cruiser are spotted there, against 2 cruisers of our team. So what does the shining knight with the not so shiny brown pants do? He leaves his Leander buddy to die; or at least fight a 2 vs 1. btw: 4 cruisers and 1 BB of the enemy team are spotted, take a wild guess whats not yet (hard because the teams are mirrored, I know) lit up and where its most likely going to be (hard again, but unlike our hero the bots do have a W-key and put up a fight, so there position is easy to pinpoint). ____________ Again a lot has happened again: 1. DeGrasse is dead - one shotted. 2. My fighters a low on ammo and planes - reloading. 3. Nürnberg is loosing his fight and giving the Leander a clear way to my airfield. But as the mighty Skycarcinoma I always get a comfy island to hide behind in the spawn. Also "cruiser counter CVs", so its again no problem one shotting a higher tier cruiser. 4. The brave Leander of out team fought a 2 vs 1 and sold his ship 1:1. Not to bad. 5. Meanwhile our hero has driven his cruiser into the only position where he could be fired upon by ALL the battleships AND is broadside to the Kirov. Genius! It takes real brain- and will-power to deprive your team of firepower and help when needed, whilst simultaneously give the bots a free kill. So yeah in "self defence" I oneshot another cruiser 1 tier higher than me. ____________________ Now our hero is dead, and his real "career" starts. So after one-shitting 2 cruisers and not even 5 minute into the game, I forced dam. con on the Bayern with surplus dives from the Leander, and a strike is on its way, as I can see the Nürnberg is heavily  beleaguered. ___________________ Bayern was flooding to death, didnt get the kill tough. Had some dives there to try to get him down faster as he was kinda beginning to get to close - no real danger ofc because as a huge carrier I got the best stealth. _________ What left there is enjoy the literalistic-fruit that is the chat for lunch.  To be fair, I fucked up a drop on the König completely later because I was so hard laughing at this guy. So typing with one hand, playing the game and laughing doesnt add up. Could have gotten that König the first time and then later even some more damage on the bot-Skycarcinoma. - but we are not done with our hero, yet.   75 % in Zuiho, impressive really, lets check that: Ofc the potato has hidden its profile. Thankfully: Hava and the biggest noobs of the Universe! "I am Hava, Scrublord and proud licker of the Windows of castle Canterlot," "this is Fucktard, our brown-panty-clad, pottymouthed, wallet warrior noob." "Several fabulous secret stats were revealed to me the day I used my magic keybord and typed:" "By the power of Ponies and Windows, I have his noob-áss-stats!"     Ofc, they could be outdated, but: a. There is a game from today - who knows the little scary cat might have hidden his stats right after I asked him in chat. b. they match perfectly - aka: are you really surprised?   And just for the record: No you dont have 100 % even in pvp, and I am the one with 22 % more WR than this noob in his Zuiho + more than half additional avg. damage in pvp. Lets not even start talking about the overall pvp stats.   So what left to do now? Laugh, point and post Ponies ofc! @ my potty mothed friend, from the deepes recesses of my heart:     €: I nearly forgot: The games results screen: Over 500 base xp in a bottom CV - not to shabby. Could have broken 150 k damage if I hadnt had to laugh so hard.