The Karlsruhe is utter garbage because......

[VIChiefIV]

Ok so we all know the Karlsruhe is a horrible horrible ship with poor manoeverability, terrible range and low speed compared to say the Kuma and the Phoenix. But how terrible is it really?

 

Lets play the reversed ship Chuck Norris game. So instead of saying why it's so awesome come up with an inventive/funny reason why it's terrible.

 

The Karlsruhe T4 German cruiser is terrible because..........................

[GrumpyWorm]

Moved

[VIChiefIV]

I'll start with a nice example.

 

The Karlsruhe T4 German cruiser is terrible because..........................

 

- one spark from a captain's pipe and kabloouuh it'll spontaneously combust.

- the Germans forgot to replace the hamster wheels with oilpowered boilers.

- it doesn't have actual cannons, just German sailors throwing the shells at enemy ships by hand.

[Admiral_H_Nelson]

The Karlsruhe T4 German cruiser is terrible because..........................

[/cynic mode on]

it was designed that way to encourage people to use free XP to get past it to the Königsberg (1)  and thus raise revenue for WG.

​[/cynic mode off]

 

(1) Also a terribly fragile ship but which has the benefit of some long-range and hard-hitting cannons.

[gbgroger]

Weak armour, easily crippled modules.

 

Few and bad guns for its tier

 

Torpedo armament bad for its tier

 

Slow

 

Bad AA

 

More??

[VIChiefIV]

The idea is to do it in a comical way, similar to Chuck Norris jokes. You know:

- Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin, he has a third fist.

- Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

 

But in this case it's about how bad the Karlsruhe is. Come on folks, be creative. I'll have another shot.

 

The Karlsruhe T4 German cruiser is terrible because..........................the builders misread the design schematics and bolted the citadels on the outside.

 

 

[Jagdpants_666]

... it wasn't designed for the structural stresses posed by a seagull landing on it

... it floods if the ship's cat takes a leak and misses the litter box

... it is in its entirety constructed from post-it notes marinated in petrol

[VIChiefIV]

... it wasn't designed for the structural stresses posed by a seagull landing on it

... it floods if the ship's cat takes a leak and misses the litter box

... it is in its entirety constructed from post-it notes marinated in petrol

 

Brilliant, especially the first one

[Niaro]

... the constructors messed up the position of the guns and the propellor shafts?

[spitfireace3]

.........It is following its lifelong ambitions to become a rowing boat

 

 

[Comrad_StaIin]

...it sinks befor it even gets full of water

[KHETTIFER]

The hang time on the Karlsruhe's guns are so bad it routinely sails into its own salvos and citadels itself.

[VIChiefIV]

The Karlsruhe T4 German cruiser is terrible because..........................

 

...........the designers thought they were building a pleasure cruiser and not an actual warship. Hence, no armour BUT it does come equipped with a cocktail maker.

[Sindrift]

Yeah but think of the spread you can get with two torpedoes =one North and one South.

 

I suppose no body liked Karl at school either.

[Jagdpants_666]

... it was actually built as a submarine, they just forgot to write it on the blueprints

[Karrig]

... the German navy needed something to punish their sailors with.

[anonym_XGuN6pHmfiJ9]

The aiming system is off in the Karlsruhe. I can life with weak armor. I can life with low speeds. The poor aiming is the killer for me. Shooting on target, shots going over and under. Aiming over the target, the shells still going over and under. Aiming under the target, shells still going under and over. It's always a wonder when I hit target.

[EsaTuunanen]

...........the designers thought they were building a pleasure cruiser and not an actual warship. Hence, no armour BUT it does come equipped with a cocktail maker.

Actually its citadel is really well protected with normal belt armor and then sloped internal armor.

http://gamemodels3d.com/worldofwarships/vehicles/pgsc104

That concentration of armor just came at the expense of rest of the ship's protection which is DD strong.

 

 

.........It is following its lifelong ambitions to become a rowing boat

As Finnish I just can't help but keep calling it as "Kaarlen ruuhi".

Kaarlen is genitive case of name Kaarle and ruuhi means small canoe/rowing boat. (do Google image search for it)

[VIChiefIV]

The Karlsruhe T4 German cruiser is terrible because..........................

 

it has a turning circle that would make a Wyoming blush.

[Jagdpants_666]

Look on the bright side, whenever you're on fire and your rudder gets knocked out mid-turn(i.e. all the time), you can hum Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" and it all feels better somehow.

[ReinhardVonUhlig]

I find it still better than Furutaka.......

 

I am serious.

[Jagdpants_666]

Have you played the Furutaka after the recent patch(es)? It got quite a significant buff, particularly to the turret traverse speed. I haven't played it myself myself, but my  regular division mate who used to consider it one of the worst ships in the game now seems to think it's "allright". I.e. nothing spectacular, but not bad either.

[VIChiefIV]

The problem with the Furutaka is that people tend to play it as a cruiser, where in my opinion the ship should in effect be used as an ultra light battlecruiser, sort of a light version of the Kongo. At Tier 5 the Furutaka cannot hold its own vs the Omaha and Koningsberg in terms of raw HE power but it more than makes up for it in AP ability due to its larger caliber guns.

[Sindrift]

Considering how good German engineering and design usually is it looks like they missed the boat on this one. (pun intended) The Karlsruhe is dog meat so  I would prefer the Dresden any day of the week. Maybe they built it knowing there was a huge crash coming and so kept everything cheap. Seriously though even the majority of German players seem to think there is something wrong with it.

 

 

[playbogdi5]

The Karlsruhe T4 German cruiser is terrible because it sinks to the ocean floor faster than it can go in a straight line.

The Karlsruhe T4 German cruiser is terrible because it's guns fire wursts and it's torpedoes are powered by the finest german beer. How come german beer? They let the beer's CO2 vent out the back of the torpedo.