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NicramDuel

WARNING! Bots in co-op are now SELF CONSCIOUS, and have feelings! Do NOT anger them!

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[HNFC]
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14:00 Server time, getting close to the peak period, I joined one of my regular co-op rounds. Somehow (this is actually quite common nowadays) MM found no other suitable lifeform to join me in my potatothon, so I recieved a fully fledged fleet of 7 bot-partners. 

 

 

Spoiler

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In any other given circumstance/gamemode I always follow the "either something nice or nothing at all" doctrine in terms of chat... but somehow in this game, due to only bots (myself included) being present, I let loose my suppressed, inner-child-self. I addressed my teammates in a non-sophisticated manner, then proceeded with the game. 

 

Spoiler

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Unbeknownst to me, one of my fellow bots, the Hipper-piloting :Miaoulis: actually took my insults to heart: had he the chatting abilities of World of Warplanes bots granted to him by WoWS developers, I would have most certainly recieved a piece of his mind, and would have been forced to promptly apologize. Unfortunately, being deprived of the ability to communicate, he decided to exert his revenge and mete out justice when the right time comes. And soon enough, it did. 

 

After further angering him by claiming the kills of an opposing DD and cruiser, I needed to borrow some time for my torps to replenish, so I made a circuit around the final enemy at "C", a Monarch, targeted to be my last kill. This was the last straw for :Miaoulis:. Not only have I insulted him at the start of battle, took two kills from him later, but I was about to take the trophy of another legendary co-op captain, who some of you may already know as :Forbin:. You see, :Miaoulis: and :Forbin: are engaged in a long-lasting rivalry: they seek each other out when on opposing teams, and go to extreme measures to outperform one another if teamed up against all odds. See for yourself in co-op's: you may even catch a glimpse of them ramming each other, with all the hate they have mustered against one another! Anyways. Little did I realize that I had become yet a tiny speck of dust in the unfolding climatic battle of titans, two influential giants of the co-op community about to clash. And here I was, about to ruin it all with my interference and launching of my own torps. So, :Miaoulis:, after coming to the conclusion that it was at this point that I am no longer wanted in this battle, decided to act. After careful consideration of his real opponent, :Forbin:'s limited options, :Miaoulis: switched his focus to me. The orders were given to swiftly release every single available starboard torpedo at that irritating, loud-mouth little Kagero, me. Luck however, favoured me today. The distance between our ships made it possible for sudden evasive manoeuvrings, and I slipped past all 6 deadly fish. Succeeding at this, I could hear in the ether of the force the thumping sound of anger in the Hipper's bridge. Upset, but not unfocused, :Miaoulis: set his gaze back on his arch rival, :Forbin:, in the helplessly drifting Monarch. This would have been a sweet and prolonged victory for our Hipper captain, shooting away and away and away at the slowly rotating battleship before sending it to a watery grave... but the nuissance of that pesky destroyer was still present, with the threat of me securing the kill too soon. So just for the sake of safety, the Hipper captain decided to shut this down quickly, and launched all of the perfectly positioned port-side torpedoes. A few seconds later, all that remained of the Monarch's memory was a smoking, sinking husk. :Miaoulis:, although couldn't dispatch me out of revenge, at least took away a lot of potential exp, and the glory of the Monarch kill.

 

Spoiler

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What further would ensue between us will forever remain a mystery, however. Before either of us could decide on any further course of actions, fate decided it for us. In came the Vladivostok of the enemy team, promptly dispatching both of us (at the slight cost of taking the few torpedoes I had available at that time). 

 

I would be pleased to write down how I apologized for my manners and for hurting my teammate bot to the heart or fundamental algorithm, but alas, I cannot. Bots seem to be so antisocial that not only do they not speak at all in chat...they will not even accept messages outside of battle. :( 

 

In all honesty, after this battle, I checked my karma. I wouldn't have been surprised if at least some of the bots would have reported me. Luckily, karma was intact. Good for me. 

 

 

There is a valuable lesson to be learned here. Whatever you do, do NOT swear or display poor manners in this game. Even if you are the sole human / living being in the game. You do NOT want to upset these bots. They do not forget. They will hunt you down, and punish you for being bad. They are dangerous, and they will certainly not care about going pink/red to make their point clear. 

 

Beware!

 

 

P.S.: I sincerely apologize for the naming and shaming of bots in this thread: this, if happened, has been completely unintentional! Both :Miaoulis: and :Forbin: are highly respected and competent bots of our community: generally outperforming approximately 80% of the server's live population, I have to point out that this was perhaps a one-off occurance, with :Miaoulis: probably just having a hard day - I will do my best too to avoid similar conflicts between myself and our revered bots! 

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[JRM]
Players
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24,191 battles

Dude its all over long ago we are all in the matrix anway

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