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Poetic player base.

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[ITR]
Beta Tester, Players
1,078 posts
3,828 battles

Hello!
Inspired by a thread "Patetic player base" I've decided to search for the poets here on the forums.
Gimme your short poems, haikus, anything poetic :)

The ships they swim across the seas,
Captains doing what they please.
All it takes is one good shell,
All their souls will burn in hell.

 

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[KAKE]
Players
646 posts
2,704 battles

*cough*

 

Broadside in my sights

All hits overpenetrate

Damn you, RNG

 

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[SCRUB]
Sailing Hamster
3,191 posts
3,153 battles

This is my cruiser. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

My cruiser is my best friend, I must master it as I must master my life.

Without my cruiser, I am useless. Without me, my cruiser is useless.

I must use my cruiser true. I must shoot better than my enemy who is trying to sink me.

I must sink him before he sinks me.

I must find the correct deflection so I can hit my enemy every time. I will.

I must not give my enemy the correct deflection at any time. I won't.

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[WJDE]
Beta Tester
418 posts
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Roses are red

Violets are blue

I love :waifubots:

And they love me too <3

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[ITR]
Beta Tester, Players
1,078 posts
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A small litany against broadside:


I must not broadside.
Broadside is the ship-killer.
Broadside  is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my urge to broadside.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the broadside has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

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[KAKE]
Players
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Bonus points for Dune reference.

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Beta Tester
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Lo Yang

 

There was a little Benson,

a-comin' round the bend.

To greet him him right and proper,

torpedoes did I send.

 

He huffed and puffed, and vanished

within a cloud of smoke.

I triggered my acoustics,

and found the little bloke!

 

I fired off my popguns,

he turned and made a dash

- and into my torpedoes

quite promptly did he crash!

 

A note to all destroyers:

The smoke shall set you free.

You may be safe from others

- but you’re not safe from me!

­­­

___________

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[SCRUB]
[SCRUB]
Players
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Unicums are purple

Potatoes are red

Serve them with salt

And a good meal you'll get

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[KAKE]
Players
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Ok, there are maybe two people who are going to get this and possibly think it's funny, but whatever.

 

Deyr tundurspillir,
deyr beitiskip,
deyr flugvél með,
ek veit einn,
at aldrei deyr:
Orrustuskip við kortsins kantur

 

(With apologies to Iceland - I probably butchered the grammar)

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Players
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Herpy Derpy sat in the spawn.

Herpy Derpy sniped real calm.

All the teams cruisers and all their DDs

couldn't make Herpy set out to the seas.

 

But Herpy wasn't idle, he looked out of port

and saw them loosing, despite his support.

So he opened the chat to blow off some steam,

writing the words of wisdom: "Noob team!".

  

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[NWP]
Beta Tester
1,117 posts
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Friendly BB see,

to the border they must flee;

carrying alone.

 

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Players
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If you are having problems with the fairer sex, I sympathise with you. I have four score and nineteen quandaries, and nary a wench amongst them.

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[BONUS]
[BONUS]
Beta Tester
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DD player  out on a spree

Was detonated before he could flee

He said I don't give a f**k

It's all down to luck

And an unhealthy dose of RNG

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Beta Tester
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16 minutes ago, Uglesett said:

Ok, there are maybe two people who are going to get this and possibly think it's funny, but whatever.

 

Deyr tundurspillir,
deyr beitiskip,
deyr flugvél með,
ek veit einn,
at aldrei deyr:
Orrustuskip við kortsins kantur

 

(With apologies to Iceland - I probably butchered the grammar)

Pretty close actually. Although ek is more old Icelandic than current. 

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[NWP]
Beta Tester
1,117 posts
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The once was a CV called Graf,
which was issued not OP enough,
they reworked the squads,
to improve the odds,
now see who has the last laugh.

 

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[BONUS]
[BONUS]
Beta Tester
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Not really a poem, but funny nonetheless (well at least I think so...), so I'll just shamelessly repost a post I made regarding the Clan of Hags, TTT.

 

Quote

The Hags are all that once was, and all that will be

The Hags are eternal. They roam this earth since time immemorial

Always on the lookout for devilish sourcery

Always on the lookout for a sin so vile, it would corrupt even RNGsus himself

They seek the holy grail of Fun and Engaging: the triple detonation

Only then may they find peace

Only then will they stop haunting the seas

Only then will the Hags ascend to the afterlife

A heaven for the Wicked

An eternity of constant, neverending Detonations

The ultimate Ascension

 

This is the tale of the Hags

Be wary of the Triple T

For that is the mark of the Hag

 

Yes, I was drunk when I wrote that :Smile_teethhappy:

 

For those who have no idea what this is about, read this thread:

 

No seriously, read it. It's the best thread of the forums.

Spoiler

For those too lazy (or too grumpy) to endure 15 pages of pure comedy gold, a small summary.

Some TTT players got accused of hacking, which lead to hagging which lead to Hags. So now TTT is the hacking/hagging clan of Hags and it became somewhat of a meme.

But really, read that thread!

 

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[HOME]
Players
580 posts
7,635 battles

There once was a player, the skipper,

He sailed around happy his Hipper,

But then suddenly his luck ran out,

Because what was that warning all about?

Tops from behind, how can it be?

Fired by a not-so-friendly deedee.

The skipper tries to dodge but to no avail,

And there ended his mighty tale.

Raging in chat is all he can do,

"Do ya have crap for eyes, ya bloody kangaroo?!".

 

 

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[TTT]
Players
3,599 posts
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Roses are red.

My Camo is red.

My crewmen are all red...

Help my ship is on fire!

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[KAKE]
Players
646 posts
2,704 battles
18 minutes ago, lafeel said:

Although ek is more old Icelandic than current. 

I started out with a copy paste from Håvamål, so that's pretty natural.

 

But Norwegian is too modern, Iceland is the place to go for norse-sounding names for modern things like cruisers.

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[YARRR]
Beta Tester
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Wall of text incoming.

Spoiler

I hate MM.

It's full of scrubs

and Wargaming

doesn't give a :etc_swear:.

Don't tell me that it's just bad luck,

when will I finally get a good match?

2, 3, 4

 

Remember when I tried,

I never strayed too far from you,

staying by your side,

so that I could get AA support? But now I'm

getting abandoned once again

the planes, yeah, they just keep on coming in.

Another match just thrown by you and yours,

guess I'll return to port.

 

I hate MM.

It's full of scrubs

and Wargaming

doesn't give a :etc_swear:.

Don't tell me that it's just bad luck,

when will I finally get a good match?

I hate MM

 

cause no one can understand,

my fighters got shot down.

a Grozo got between me and my plans, so now I

get called a noob and flamed by everyone,

while they just camp bow on in our spawn.

Planes come and dev strikes one of them,

I'm chatbanned once again.

 

I hate MM.

It's full of scrubs

and Wargaming

doesn't give a :etc_swear:.

Don't tell me that it's just bad luck,

when will I finally get a good match?

 

And don't believe a word they're telling to you.

Don't believe a word they're telling to you.

They say it's fine, but when will I get a good match?

I hate MM.

 

My teammates are always dragging me down,

Gave everything I had to turn it back around,

'cause our points' worth something, bigger than our survival.

I can't carry this always backing off,

I gotta make this push or they will win default.

'Cause I'm not here for camping, 'least I can say

I tried for something!

(Meanwhile you guys just keep camping.)

 

I hate MM.

It's full of scrubs

and Wargaming

doesn't give a :etc_swear:.

Don't tell me that it's just bad luck,

when will I finally get a good match?

 

And don't believe a word they're telling to you.

Don't believe a word they're telling to you.

They say it's fine, but when will I get a good match?

I hate MM.

 

(Based on "All Signs Point to Lauderdale" by A Day to Remember.)

 

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Beta Tester
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45 minutes ago, Uglesett said:

Ok, there are maybe two people who are going to get this and possibly think it's funny, but whatever.

 

Deyr tundurspillir,
deyr beitiskip,
deyr flugvél með,
ek veit einn,
at aldrei deyr:
Orrustuskip við kortsins kantur

 

(With apologies to Iceland - I probably butchered the grammar)

You're reimagining the Havamàl?  Brage, the Norse God of poets, would approve! :cap_viking:

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[NED]
Players
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10,894 battles

1 torpedo can't nick me

Oh wait

Did I mount that flaggy?

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Players
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Pasalm 23 (unauthorised version):

 

sub_octavian is my shepherd, I shall not want.

 

He maketh me to sail backwards in green pastures; he leadeth me beside the still waters at the edge of the map.

 

He restoreth my soul back to full HP; he leadeth me in the paths of reghteousness for WG's profits' sake.

 

Yea, though I sail in straight lines through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil destroyers for radar art with me; thy rod and nerf-bat they comfort me.

 

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil, coal and steel; my cup runneth over.

 

Surely good shooting and merciless stomping of cruisers shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of Wargaming for ever.

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