havaduck

Speaking of retarded results with p2w-time: I needed now ribbons for Blyatskaia, T10 was picked and Senjo already had the daily -> Hindenburg. That credit gain, that free xp, that captain XP : (but hey nothing wrong with that at all , just do p2w regularly and still outperform everyone else at least 10 fold in earning, even if you dont do a quarter of that guy not doing p2w........) I dare to say this was a huge carry by our divsion: 9 freaking kills! - and damn well earned with the hard work! (and without doing it the "easy way" and playing CV or BB ourselves ) I did put at least 1 shell in every single enemy ship, except that Fletcher. That whole battle was desperate from the beginning: Spawning left top on mountain range we had 2 DD, 2 CAs and 2 BBs - pretty balanced. Our division moved on the cap and managed to drive the enemy DDs off initially - but their grand fleet with 9 ships showed up = ouch! Already burning and under further fire, we had to retreat from the cap and put some distance between us and them anyway, so we relocated to the other side ...... (already one BB down too - other side got just got 1 cap - with 5 ships against 2 ofc) Things are pretty bleak now: We lost a BB, a CA and the Gearing even! Also 2 of our remaining BBs are now basically running and taking a way to long rout - effectivly putting us 3 BBs down! (As you can see we are already moving into attack position again - while they havent even slipped behind their island) But the enemy did something stupid too: Insead of immediately ganging up b, they went 2-3 line which is just retardet; still at this point there is barely any chance to win this. Aki gets spotted too, we need to kill this guy! But he is so far away ....... So a few potato mortars later we forced his smoke. I/we do hit him in the smoke a few times, but then only misses. He has to be low, but torps from a nearly dead invisible IJN DD are as deadly as those from healthy ones ......... This is a pivotal moment, if we cant kill this guy we are likely to lose the north BBs either HP wise - or to the border permanently! Already giving up I see shells comping out of the smoke! Well, if he does that again ........ I do know he is basically a one shot, so I channel sekrit powers to aid my aim! @MortenTardo well ...... it worked! Now *scrunchy face intensifies* Still there is little to celebrate - we are 4:1 boat down at this point and the enemy has a huge points advantage thanks to those kills and their 2 caps, but we are working on that one too ........ Meanwhile we basically stand with 5 ships in the middle against their 11 and I desperately try to get the Battlesheeps into the battle which are taking their sweetass time while we need them south asap for relief and to put shots ath the enemy pushing into b - which is imminent. Tbh I am surprised the Yugomo and the FDG are still alive. I dont care what the results say, they were more usefull than the noob in the Yamato sniping from the very edge of his gunrange ......... but we cant hold b and its now 6 against 8. Its a little "better" but still very very bleak. finally pulling the scores back and ..... we even have the leads! - in ships ofc, as they now all 3 caps ......... ....... and even the shiplead is kinda debatable since one is nearly full hp Yamato still fapping the back. We were pretty close to loosing by the enemy getting 1000 pts - so we had to get those kills just to put the score backs ...... in the end this was still looking like a defeat: Enemy had a ~ 60 % Hindenburg ( + heals?) and our only hope was to kill that guy before he could go behind the island/into stealth and wait for the few ticks to 1000 pts. If want to taste the desperation, just look at the chat: Yeah that damn Yamato - 3/4 hp (ofc!) ........ he even ceased fire. Considering the rest of his "brave and ballsy"-BB play ...... he maybe wanted the full cap? I really dont know to be honest, just "another BB player" - has to suffice for the moment. That and ofc: (because if you cant kill a shitty cruiser thats spotted and roughly 10 km from you .........) After that game: I actually do have 1 more memorable game - and its about another favourite of mine: Sky Cancer, but I am just to lazy right now. ^^

Well I had a few "noteworthy things" recently - but work, being tired as hell and the need to finish blyatskya meant I didnt have the time. Well you will understand shortly, as I may have to even split the post. Lets start with the game that go me the Blyatskeia (dead tired as well): I had the shitty westmost completely isolated spawn in the south. Team was mainly lemming on C so it took a freaking eternity to even find a way to make a impact in the middle. Not a too special game but it earned ~ 1600 base xp and a spot on the top of the scoreboard, enough for the mission - cant ask more from a bottom tier shitty cruiser which has to spent an entire game spamming one ship; and still isnt even able to kill it: balanced! Meanwhile taking two shells from a Bismarck is risky as hell! -> Thats already roughly enough + 8000 surplus potential damage thanks to WGs shitty balancing and even shittier damage model to kill a equally shitty cruiser. Balanced comrade! (Damn, just short of Witherer) Ofc we also had a obligatory hackusation: If you are in a shitty german T 6 cruiser and sitting broadside to a Amagi, truly a Aimbot is the only reasonable explanation! If anything the only really viable complaint there is WGs noob protection giving in for a moment to allow BiasBoats their obligatory one shot. Anyway, dont have the panels but it was ~ 1600 xp and on top - even met @TheCinC and his divisonmate Thor - thankfully on the friendly team! There are so many potatoes around, it is good to have anything else to spice up the potato stew and make it bearable. Speaking of combined efforts carry: (Thx to Fry, definitely couldnt have done that without him!) Div- and clanmate helped me basically holding single-handedly the flank against a big portion of the enemy team. I do think the Belfast tried too, but he died rather fast. Meanwhile the rest of the lemmings took their sweet sweet time and even lost ships while having a huge superiority on the enemy on b an c: You gotta love teams that have a huge numbers advantage, lemming hard and leave flanks defenceless and then even fail to take even the cap they lemming to! This was looking grim for a long time, since, as the above mentioned lemmings took forever to even get c, while we denied a-cap for as long as we could. Tried to get the enemy CV at the end, but that whould have mandated getting deleted by Blyatskeia. Sill nearly 1,5 mio potential damage in a shitty T 6 cruiser is pretty epic; no surprise considering the focus was real since the other ship helping me stalling them was a CV and thus naturally in the back. And what great help that was! Enemy Sky Cancer came for me, and I used every single charge of def. fire. Still would have died horribly without support, because shitty cruiser which gets countered by absolutely everything in this game. This game in the Senjo was pretty tense and close, but I cant remember much else. Still met @Durin_VI - sadly on the enemy side. I politely asked him to kindly not to invade the privacy of my citadel, and I do think we didnt clash in this game; but I rarely have time to check names if BBs can delete you from multiple vectors all across the map. btw: Nothing wrong at all with p2w-time; completely fair bonus, esp. xp and captain xp + free xp which is again potential super-captain xp.

The tags alone are highly disturbing ......... O_O Lel, I bet AO has a lot to say about this one. Lets ask Dashie! (Perfect pose and bewilderment too ) Lets see how many recruits we gather with that one above, after all: Gene obviously wants my help in picking a reward plushy for the most accomplished Clan-warriors. First AO, now Gene - I guess the little ones are really growing on all the lot of you. Well if you want advice on a Plushy, forget build a bear, true Scrubs deserve only the best version of our Mascot! (inkl. socks for AO ofc) Speaking of which, our victorious heroes deserve a hug ...... or two ........ or more: Damn! I hope no lasting damage! Time for the symptomatic pain-treatment then: Have some for general cuteness or for waifu-needs Depending on "personal needs" ofc. I actually did cut my thumb today to - while slicing some onions. (Why is it that cutting yourself to the blood with a serrated knife + onion juice entering the open wound doesnt really hurt, but a paper cut on the other hand ..........). I think all the fruits n vegetables are out for reckoning to avenge their potato brethren which we smash all the time. So since Nurse Redheart is for Leo only, and knowing the rest of you, have some additional waifu (should be Atago-ish enough for most of you ) :

You are forgetting something about WG EU; and that is their favourite Mega Man character: So, nah, they are still busy "cutting the symbol" in the middle out and then adjust, aka "cut", the announcement vid on EU accordingly; after all, no one will notice, right? And I have a pretty good idea about the kind of music playing @ Paris HQ right now. (Personally I like Elec Man stage theme much more ), or how about: ...... and yes, there are actually plenty of Mega ...... Pony games in different variations out there.

Ragequitted yesterday. The stupidity on the weekends is to damn high! Examples: Spee runs (after taking the longest route possble) head first into 5-6 enemies and dies. Naturally its everyone elses fault. Best part is when he spouts WG-grade [edited] about being on the "frontline" when we sunk a Belfast and a IJN DD. Well, since I hydroed those two ships in their smoke (enabling div. mate get the free cap later), killed the DD, put some cits into the Belfast + got shot from the enemy campers between the islands, I dare to say I was the frontline; and I know I got little help from campers from behind when the Belfast did set 5 fires in a row and most of them where out of position on the lit up target. Running then into 6 enemies (that have been known to be there for over 5 minutes!) like a headless chicken after hiding and being useless just confirms my view of the player base. Its still interesting to see what their "interpretation" is, further study in fucktardology might allow us to even understand the avg. Dev. post concerning BB overpopulation ........ Then this game: Barely any damage, but hey, Kamikazes are best anti-DD gunboats. Best cruisers too, I cant remember the last time I had 4-5 ships between 4-10 km and survived while getting damage done on the enemy DDs. Screens better against torps than a shitty cruisers too. I mean seriously: This is after a (another) daring escape after dominating the enemy DDs _again_ but getting perma plane spotted and shot at by everyone. We even pushed the enemy back behind the middle of their cap. You would think, with little torp threat left and with the DDs obviously needing help, the BalllessBoats would move up? There is one single BB closer than 5 full squares to the enemy and its the GC - and he is 4 squares from the only thing that can actually hurt him ...... (and yes, we capt them) Pretty nice high xp co-op game. I needed the plane kills for the mission. But I have to say: Damn that fúcking UI! I have full stutters of several second ......... A decent Hindi game, verdict still stand: Not nearly as shitty as Ruin! - best ship of the line together with Hermelin. €: Missed the main screen from that Hindi game: Rest of the games were ....... rage quit material. Pure Weekend warriors. I really want to know what has people thinking: Oh those 2 guys got us our only 2 caps - better leave them to die because things only going to get much easier without them! WGs BB bias obviously. Think a second about what class does the most damage, and what class generally gets a lot of spotting done; unless ofc Sky Cancer is around in which case your are just a target drone for them anyway.

Because not everyone in co-op is (yet, WG is working on that - just like in pvp ) a braindead BB player. The first few tiers dont even have BBs/Sky Cancer, and lower tiers are by far the most frequent pve games. Thats already skewing any statistic. If you look at high tiers aka the humans with the "most experience" you will see a much more clearer picture (and its the idiots in high tiers most bitching about BB is aimed at). If you look for the ships with the highest WR - its the T1 cruisers, the ones with the least experienced human captains. While the worst ships WR wise are ofc all the T10 - with the potatoes failing and p2wing their way up to T10. Also bots still have issues: Take Two Brothers and the bots going throug the middle. If that maps comes up, its basically a free win for the human bots because thewg bots are down 2-5 ships. Same is true for all the other maps and the bots running into an island. Next bots are better; but the are also very handy caped: 0 pts captains, no modifications etc ....its basically the same if the 19 pts p2w captains go against 10 pts silver peasants.

What should I say then? I thought we were gonna play Halloween-OPs! Needless to say it was after a long day of work that had me falling asleep between food-portions (first some left over scarps - which werent enough ofc, and then falling asleep again because standing up for moar food is such a demanding obstacle if you are not actually starving any more; priorities!) I have no idea both times. This is especially true because in the first battle I had mod-issus, so much I had to double check who I was actually shooting at ......... aka "surprise"? Basically selecting a cruiser if there is the raw possibility of a BB being around be like: (tbh DD or cruisers against 12 x ololol-HE isnt much better) *this is getting worse than colouring-book-corrution ^^* (still this is pure Derpybetes material there ) Anyway like I said: That day of premium was thoroughly used for being at work and ofc: after a work week. Seriously, I had to even grab the birds today in the morning and stuff them under the blanket with me because they pulled a re-enactment of every Jurassic Park Raptor-scene. No way I get up before noon today. Anyway more "eeeee" before I forget again because of sock-demanding-AO:

Incoming assassination on you conncection, but I gotta kill something today and it might as well be you connection trying to cope with the Pony-Oberload! I mean you gotta understand, just a usual AO and weired Japan provided bait I couldnt possibly resist trolling upon. (I picked somewhat smaller .gifs tough - does that make it a mercy killing? ^^) Sumsup reading this thread yesterday from Work - "Unfathomable Dark Forces" to follow indeed. You aint seen nothing yet! Sleep well guys - Seetie Belle is out to get ya all! (If Pinkamena isnt faster with her "Cupcakes" ) Well there is this team of bots which are basically targets to beat up, without any real strategy that cant keep off islands or avoid obvious death-traps like on Two Brothers, also with little to no consideration for survival or anything besides: "Must kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiill DD"-if on gets spotted ......... and then theres your team: I do say I can carry most co-op teams, but sometimes there is to much bots, cowards, parasites, idiots and generally dead weight on my side. That being said, I screw up sometimes too, then I deliberately go for X vs 1 if I have to - trains for same situations in randoms, or I might get detonated for no flags at all ..... because I didnt get hit. Also if you want any xp/reward out of co-op, you gotta slaughter the bots, so hyperagressive play is advised - esp. in cases of allied DDs acutally playing aggressive. Nightmare Night is highly approved. I originally intended this to be the main point, but alas I gota save it for another post as it would only "derail" from the main point. Erm ......... to use AOs usual line: Enjoy! 4 things tough: 1. WTF Japan for that weird shít! 2. The trolling after these episodes was real. 3. Obligatory: "For Kids, you know?" 4. .........more .... Kraken? Well after really making it to the end of this post, have some reward in the form of one of those true Purple Unicum Waifus:

Has claiming that ever worked? Anyway in case you havent noticed yet: You guys deserve a bonus Bat-Pony for that! (damn that one is probably 5+ years old - thankfully I remember "important" things )

Well there is: Ever wanted to shoot HE with your RN cruisers -> Belfast. Ever wanted Torps on your Bismarck? Nagato? Better torps on your Mine? T9 guns/shells on a T6 ship? etc Clan Battles: I have given that one some thought, but let me just give quick outlining: I suck! - I have 2 T10 and barely any experience in them. - Both have only 17 pts captains with the wrong skills - like manual AA while with all the HE being swung around SI and Fire Prevention would be much better. - I barely play two handful of games/week - maybe. - I suck - I can only really hit idiots; and where would I learn to aim properly? From playing randoms? Good joke! Also remember the part about barely playing at all. - I come often tired as [edited]home and barely stay awake when I am taking a bath ....... Sounds perfect for clanbattles, right? That being said, I could pose as some emergency (and unreliable) backup, but really really when its because of a tight spot; and you have to consider me being dead weight! Anyway have some: and ofc or rather, knowing you guys : No socks for AO yet ........ so have a Bat-Pony (I dont post nearly as much of those as I should) ...... in socks :

I had a good day in ops yesterday. Normally you would expect the absolute worst on the WE but at least they tried: Not a single defeat. Still I had to play way more aggressive in some game in order to carry and naturally I didnt survive always but I can live with that. Most games were actually 5 stars which by itself is a damn miracle. I still have no damn clue whats a pseudo-kraken and what is not. I know its 4 ships of your own class or 8 in total, allegedly, but: So this is a kraken because 9 kills (also 5 stars), but this isnt (also 5 stars)? The actual fúck? (and not the first time ) Quality prokramming again, I have to say ..........

If I had that kind of power anything WG owns would be a smoldering crater by now. Still, consider yourselves lucky. Some mosquito vermin kept waking me up all night ....... ugh. Too tired to drown the Scrubs in a rightful torrent of Pony..... "Thats the guy I met in the desert" ^^) Certainly not!

I actually heavily approve of the Civ and Settlers (tough imho it went downhill after II). BUT, only Groove I ever need: I actually have to try the good old Settlers II ost and see if its WoWs material but have some old TFX in the meantime:

I already got the flamethrower (mad laughter + evil facial expression are a given - comes naturally from playing with AO on TS )! https://i.imgur.com/OkzkloE.jpg (You know ..... for kids. ) (also dismemberment (in a sense of fragmentation) - today's kids have it better than us back in the day. Mortal Kombat Fatalities are neat, but they lack Pony) P.S.: @lup3s Have you seen that one? Thats the one I was talking about : In stark contrast I just now had a game: A first time ops player even asked for direction on this scenario, which I am plenty obliged to provide. I think they listened and everyone at least tired -> easy 5 stars. Didnt even die .......... and wtf got even complimented?! For not even 10 kills? Haggs!

A pretty obvious alias of a certain apple-enthusiast. ^^ Posting a pure links still works: https://i.imgur.com/stEJIgv.png see? (also royal as fúck!) Forum fears me - and with good reason. I am just in the right mood right now to drown you all in a glorious and cleansing flood of Pony.

https://i.imgur.com/ghacpyZ.png http://abload.de/img/unbenannta5swl.png https://derpicdn.net/img/view/2017/10/15/1561909__safe_flag_hand_pirate.png

Thb I can see how one would get somewhat uncomfortable if you get +2 shitty T 8 cruisers and the enemy gets a Bismarck + a DD instead; because the latter 2 are actually useful. If the 2 cruisers are well played p2w cruisers, then ofc, but even in the best of situation a cruisers is a xp pinata for everyone - let alone a shitty peasant t8 cruiser driven by a potato. Imagine if on top now the radar distribution is screwed and its domination. It can still be won because shittteamlottery, but damn .......... I cant really complain as long as teams get randomly unstoppable doom raining from the sky, while the other side gets an afker or a bot/human bot instead. Still I remember time this was totally fair and balanced - Ocean + domination: Kids these days! In my time ........

Div. with Morten by chance? €: So thats in order to not have a completely blank post - these were descent too: Not as much damage, but all 5 stars game thanks to 1 or more from the Scrubs to division with. We even did the other non-weekly ops to give somebody the 5 stars in all of them - not with a full team ofc but every Scrubs counts at least double compared to braindead potatoes.

If I hadnt had some decent music playing, I would have ragequited so hard today ......... The potatoes are so so go damn bad: In a BB they naturally camp base behind even their spawn until they get their 4sses torpedoes by the first DD/CA that inevitably breaches the perimeter. Makes much more sense than to support the guy that has the same or more kills than the rest of the team combined. ..... and if you play Battlecancer yourself, they sit in the base too - in cruiser and BBs. You can even tell them you will tank, but they just watch you "escort" the enemy fleet back to the harbour. So keep in mind this is a 4-starer (because I cant keep all the potatoes afloat ......definitely my fault ): ....... and STILL just over 2,5k base xp - in a stock BB. Pitty the CV didnt die too - damage well above 300 k and pseudo-solo warrior guaranteed. Besides the Aoba and maybe the Ryujo, the rest needs to simply uninstall - a recommendation usually well advised to the bigger part of the playerbase and also the developers.

First: Second: Third: Hmmm, I cant help with the furry-stuff AO obviously has cravings for , but lets give him the benefit of a doubt and just pretend its about being cold and not for thai hen: Problem solved! So far thats 2 non-pony pics and only 1 on topic - means I gotta find another on-topic one just to break even: Perfect: Socks + a pillow ..... maybe not enough thai hen on said pillow but then again, where would I possibly ...... Weekend! Yay!

Very naughty Marvin, would have expected that from AO but then again ....... (Yeah had a good day at work - some good, some bad but overall good - and tomorrow is Friday too, so when Marvin shows up for one of his rare occasions - esp. with this - I simply have to pull his leg ^^) It is already. AO asked for socked hooves a while back - I even had a chat picture. However, I dont know the pagenumber so you gotta look for yourself if you dare ...... and if you got the endurance too ofc.

3 minutes? Still:

8 Supercontainers = truly disappointing? Well I got 2 SC from random draws and 1 SC from Yama this YEAR =

You dont wait for them to dodge torps, you make them dodge torps! Or meatshild for them if you have no other choice ....... easy enough. I play enough operations that I know one simple way to determinate where the problem lurks: Do you do routinely around at least 100-150 k damage? How many pseudo-krakens, pseudo-confederates, pseudo-high calibres do you have? If the answer is no or none to all that, I have bad news for you....... (I usually only get problems dealing damage in a full division because of the experienced full-hp-ship-killstealers there ) So far Ops have been dumbed down enough. Just like pvp, the challenge lies now not in how good the bots are, but rather how bad the team is mm has bestowed on you. If you got a few willing to listen (they dont have to be great players/shots themselves), you have a chance via carry and combined effort. If you get parasites, saboteurs, bots and ofc the cowards, this is usually lost or will take at least a hefty loss of stars. I tell you even something more: Thanks to idiots throwing a game, the few actually non braindead players tend to avoid playing completely alone, because if you loose thanks to them, you still get only 400 xp for even the hardest carry! We have proven that 4 guys can do all of the current mission with all the stars with a bit of luck (and not screwing around), so naturally a division of 2-3 can do the same if the rest of the random plebs are not too horrible or actively sabotaging in one way or another. tl;dr: No more dumbing down ops for potatoes - we BBs for that already!

Hey I didnt even do anything! ........... yet. Besides, just pointing the guns in the general direction of you enemy for random devastation no matter the angling (its acutally counterproductive on a DD) has been stronkeru BB tactics since forever: Every BB vs CA/CL fight ever .......